We've all heard about them. The infamous 'purity rings'. They are significant in that they are a symbol of a commitment made to one's self. It's also a huge commitment made to God, and future spouse. However, a symbol is all that it is.
When I was turned 13 years old, my parents got me a purity ring for my birthday. It was absolutely gorgeous. It was 2 hands holding a heart, I don't remember what the stone was, but it was a beautiful ring. I wore it every single day, until the stone fell out a few years later. We took it to get it fixed and after that I decided it was too precious to wear everyday because I didn't want the stone falling out again and getting lost, so I bought myself a simple silver band that said 'I will wait for my beloved.' That ring I did wear every day for a very long time, I never worried that it would break. It became kind of a security blanket for me and I began to trust more in the ring than in the actual commitment of my heart.
Flash forward to my 20th year. I met a guy. An amazing, wonderful, sweet, kind, thoughtful, selfless man. He treated me so well and took care of me. He was everything I wanted, and he fell in love with me pretty quickly. Which was ok, I was still scared because of my last relationship and how quickly I fell and then how hopeless I felt when it ended. So I was cautious. This man was more worldly than I. He had seen things and done things I never had before. He was a military guy, hardcore Army. He had been deployed before and had experienced the military lifestyle in all its forms. Even relationship wise, so I knew I wasn't dating a virgin, he had been married before. To be honest, that worried me a little, because I was a pure, virgin, christian girl and I planned on being that until my wedding night.
Well, the physical part of our relationship was strong, and so was the rest of it, we were very very close and spent a lot of time together. At first, it was just making out, which worried me because I remembered something an old youth pastor said, 'its a downward spiral, it doesn't stop at just kissing or just making out, you get bored with that and want to go further the closer and more serious you get....'
That didn't stop me, I trusted in that precious little ring on my finger. I laugh at myself now, because I was stupid enough to actually think this way, but I thought, 'ok, when I start to get uncomfortable or it gets too far, I'll see that ring on my finger and it will remind me of my vow.' NO WAY! If you are thinking this way, it is a foolish plan, absolutely foolish.
Things started getting more serious and I started compromising myself more and more because I loved him and with all of my heart believed that he was the one I was going to marry. So, I started to think, 'well, as long as I'm not actually having sex, Ill be ok.' Wrong again. Each time things went further and further, no matter if I married him or not, I was betraying my future husband, betraying myself, and betraying God. I started to let satan compromise my beliefs and I bought into his lies each time. I would justify the things we were doing and manipulate it in my mind to make it seem ok. And then I would change my mind and feel guilty and blame my boyfriend for letting it get to far. It was unfair to him. I would tell him, 'oh I've thought about it and I think what we're doing is ok. I promise.' And then the next day I would be so mad at myself and him for all of it, when I made him believe it was all ok.
I started ignoring my convictions and let things get further and further until it got as far as it could and I compromised everything I've stood for and gave away the most precious gift that was to be saved for my wedding night. I regretted it, I cried for days, I was depressed, I was suicidal, I was angry. I didn't talk to him for a long time and when I did, all I could do was cry and place the blame on him.
But the worst part is, yeah I begged God for forgiveness, and He was faithful and forgave me just as He promised He would, but again and again I let satan lie to me and tell me it was ok. I let my flesh rule my heart and disobeyed God and compromised my purity. After a while, I stopped getting angry at myself, and at him. I was numb to the sins I was committing and just let it happen. I lied countless times to my parents, to him and to myself. I wanted it to just go away, but I figured I was too far gone to go back. I wished I had never even let it get past a simple kiss or hand holding, but I did. I stopped wearing my ring, that stupid little ring that meant nothing. I realized I had put my faith and trust in a piece of metal rather than my Holy Father. The only thing that stopped me from turning away from that sin was that it wasn't just sex. I can honestly say that it wasn't something we were doing because it 'felt good' or we 'were bored.' It was truly a result of the love we had for one another. In the beginning it was out of pure boredom and curiosity, but it became so much more than that. Rather than being a search for intimacy, it was purely a result of our intimacy and care for each other. However, that doesn't make pre marital sex ok. By any means.
After reading God's word and doing my own studying and research, I have decided that my commitment to God comes first, before anything else.
A ring won't stop me, I still wear one sometimes, but it's not as important to me as it was before. I've decided to rededicate my life, my heart, and my body to Christ. I have begged Him for forgiveness yet again, and He is a faithful and just and a forgiving God. I am going to remain pure until I am married. I am going to marry this man I talked about, and on our wedding night, we will both be confident in that, yes we made mistakes, but we were forgiven and made pure in the eyes of the Lord for one another.
We've made many changes in our relationship to ensure that it never happens again. There will always be temptation, but that temptation isn't from the Lord, it is from satan. We no longer go upstairs at his house, we stay in his living room and watch movies with his dad or something like that. Upstairs is off limits. We spend more time outside of the house doing things together, we go to the mall, we go for a walk....places where we aren't alone for a long period of time. We do a devotional/Bible study together every night. We got a Bible for couples and there's a devotional for everyday of the week and if we aren't together that night, we Skype and discuss and pray together. We are growing in our individual relationships with Christ, and we talk about the temptations we are having. We don't just ignore it, we talk about it and try to figure out ways to control the temptations as they arise. Usually by praying for each other or remembering that this isn't going to last forever. One day we will be married and give ourselves completely to one another. We trust in the Lord. We trust in the Lord alone.
